1st Trimester Deja Vu

So… I just had to make a dash for the bathroom here at work.

To throw up.

WTF, I’m in the 3rd trimester… Not the first. It was seriously reminiscent of my Morning Sickness days when I was rushing to the restroom three times a morning to vomit. Ugh. I feel like crap. I don’t know if something I ate is sitting poorly with me, or what. Maybe my stomach is just too full. I guzzled a bunch of water and that’s when I started feeling sick.

I kept it together for most of the way down the hall. I gagged a little but was able to keep it in, and then this guy walked by me with THE STRONGEST COLOGNE EVER and I almost barfed on his shoes. He would have been all like, “OMG, YOU BARFED ON MY SHOES.” and I would have been like, “MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T TAKE YOUR BATHS IN COLOGNE, SIR, BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN A PREGNANT WOMAN ON THE VERGE OF VOMITING WILL WALK BY YOU AND SPEW ON YOUR SHOES.” and then I would have walked away.

Where was I going with this? Hell, who knows. I feel like crap. My stomach is still churning. Ugh.

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A Gross TMI Pregnancy Post

You have been warned by the title.

So, this morning I was using the bathroom. I did my business, and started wiping when all of a sudden, without warning or any sort of inkling that it was about to happen..

I peed all over my own hand.


It just.. Happened. I had no sensation that I had to pee, I didn’t bear down like I was peeing.. It just leaked out of me.

My body has been possessed by an emotionally unstable, fat, crazy woman who is hungry all the time and cannot control her own bladder. AWESOME.


My coworker just told me that he thought up the perfect name for our baby if it’s a boy.


Why, besides the obvious fact that I’D NEVER NAME MY BABY SOYLENT, is that ridiculous?


Can you imagine what attendance would be like when the kid got to school?

Eric Cruz?
Katie Douglas?
Soylent Green?