Not really pregnancy related, just a lady rant

Is there anything more miserable than the first heavy day of your period? I mean, seriously, girls. It’s just miserable!

I’m bloated, I feel all squishy and gross down there, I’m crampy, my jeans are tight. Let’s not even talk about how disgusting it is to go to the bathroom. Seriously, every time I go to pee I’m like, THIS IS SO GROSS.

Menstrual periods are nature’s big, fat, joke. Seriously. Let’s think of the most unpleasant, disgusting, uncomfortable thing that could possibly ever happen, and make it a monthly, necessary function in order to bear children. Yipee! I think the ONLY thing that would make it worse, is if instead of bleeding from your you-know-where, you bled from your MOUTH.

Hahaha, now I actually kind of have a funny visual in my head. Women wouldn’t need to explain their moodiness, cravings for chocolate, and crying fits to anyone as “that time of the month”, because people would know by the fact that the woman would be walking around with either a pad covering her mouth or a stack of tampons shoved inside it.

HA HA HA. OK now I can’t stop laughing at the image in my head of women walking around the street with tampons shoved in their mouths. I can just see it now. A husband comes home to see his wife, with her back turned from him, sobbing on the couch. Alarmed, he moves to her and says, “Sweetie, what’s wrong?” As she turns around, he sees the tampons and grows solemn. “Ohhhh.” he says knowingly, and pats her on the back.