ALL THE FITNESS and Also Goats.

Oh my god I have been the worst ever at internets lately. I opened my Google Reader this evening to catch up on some blogs, and I was so behind I just slammed my laptop shut and started weeping.

Okay I didn’t really do that but I wanted to.

So the main reason I’ve been so lazy with blogging is because I have been crazy busy. Working full-time is enough, but I’ve added at least 45 minutes of gym time to my routine almost every single day. Once I leave work I go to the gym. Then I have to drive to get Nellie from daycare. Then we drive home. Then I make dinner. Then I do bedtime with the girl. Then I flop on the couch and Josh and I zone out to whatever show it is we are catching up on (now that American Horror Story is over, it’s mainly Walking Dead. I am also obsessed with Downton Abbey but can’t watch the third season without paying for it. WOE IS ME) and then we crash at around 9 P.M.


My workouts have looked mostly like this:
Monday: Couch to 5k
Tuesday: Elliptical
Wednesday: Couch to 5k
Thursday: Elliptical
Friday: Couch to 5k

Recently I’ve added strength training in on my C25k days. I just finished Week 4 (my Chicago trip and then a few days of feeling kind of sickie threw me off) and will begin Week 5 on Monday. So far, I am down 11 pounds in about 11 weeks. I only just started taking measurements, so I do not know how many inches I have lost and from where. I do know that the pajamas I bought for my Halloween costume (in case you need a refresher, here is my costume from this last year)

Are now fitting better. When I bought them, the bottom button struggled to close, and the top didn’t really fit down over my hips. Now when I wear them (because they are actually very comfortable – definitely a Goodwill win), they fall easily down over my hips and all buttons close with ease. So I have definitely lost inches in my hip region, and I am pretty sure my waist has narrowed a little. I have a habit of resting my hands on my stomach when I’m in bed (I got so used to doing it when I was pregnant, I guess I just never really stopped) and I noticed that last night my lower stomach is not as round as it once was.

Progress. Yay! The most important part of all of this is that I feel so much better. I feel strong, healthy, and I sleep better at night. I have a pleasantly exhausted sensation in my entire body most nights when I snuggle into bed.

I still have a long way to go. My last weigh-in was 198, which is nowhere near where I need to be physically but with every day that passes, and with every step I take, I am getting closer to a healthy weight.

I don’t have much more to say, so I will leave you with this video of a goat screaming at Taylor Swift.


After a Month of Silence…

It feels kind of weird blogging after almost a month of silence. It’s not that I haven’t had anything to talk about – by all means, I should really be writing something pretty much every other day – it’s just that I haven’t really felt like it.

I have been busy. I am going to the gym almost 5 days a week. When I leave work, I go before I head to Nellie’s daycare to scoop her up. Three days a week I do Couch to 5k and crunches/arm exercises and the other two days I usually do the elliptical machine. It’s funny, I’ve always hated running but since I started seriously getting into C25k, I have found myself actually looking forward to it. Once I got past the pain in my legs the first week and a half, I found my rhythm and my stride and kind of morbidly enjoy killing myself on the treadmill. I’m on Week 4 now, which alternates 3 minutes of jogging/2 minutes walking with 5 minutes of jogging and 90 seconds of walking…. I think… All I know is the first time I tried I quit after the first 5 minute run, because I thought I was going to throw up. I felt nauseated for a half an hour afterward. But on my second attempt, I did it. My shins are a little achey so I’m taking the weekend off and will start day 2 on Monday.

I’m down 11 pounds so far since beginning counting calories on December 17th, and joining a gym on January 15th. It’s a little slower than I’d like (even though it evens out to about a pound a week) and I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not in any hurry to lose this weight. It is frustrating to be busting my ass and still not be seeing huge results in the way my clothes fit yet. I have to keep reminding myself that in the past, it’s been more like 15 pounds when I begin seeing a difference on my body. Now, I can tell a difference in the way I feel. I have been sleeping better, can play harder with Nellie, and don’t feel like I’m about to drop dead when I haul her around. Yay!

My heart isn’t really in this post so I’ll end it here. I have more to say – last weekend I made an impromptu solo trip to Chicago to see my family so there’s a lot to tell about that – but I’m not really feeling it right now.

Weight Loss, 2013, Resolutions

This weekend, and the first anniversary of mom’s death, have come and gone. Friday night was difficult, but I had a lot of love and support pouring in from friends and family but that made it easier to deal.

2012 is ending, and 2013 is beginning – JUST IN CASE YOU LIVE UNDER A ROCK. I’m not a huge believer in resolutions, because I have made several over the course of the years and have not really kept any. I feel sometimes that making resolutions just sets a person up to fail, especially if those resolutions are things like “LOSE ALL THE WEIGHT” or “RUN FIVE MILES TWICE A DAY” or “MEMORIZE THE HUNGER GAMES AND RECITE IT IN ITALIAN WHILE LEARNING TO PLAY THE FIDDLE”.

I mentioned in a past post that my last doctor appointment showed that I weigh the same as I did when I had Nellie almost 3 years ago. Seeing that number on the scale triggered something inside me, and since then I’ve used MyFitnessPal to track my daily calories and exercise. With the exception of a bit of calorie-overage during the holiday weekend (and really, it wasn’t MUCH calorie overage), I have been consistently under my daily calorie allowance for almost two weeks. This is the best I have done so far in my efforts to lose my baby weight. It seems that my resolve is stronger this time than it ever has. I have also been seeking support and encouragement from the website/app LifeKraze. The community there is full of really positive people who love to give virtual high-fives and support.

I am trying to take it slowly with a goal of being 20 pounds lighter by my brother’s wedding June 1st. This goal is completely attainable; in the past, I have lost 20 pounds in just under two months’ time. I am being realistic about the rate at which I can lose weight now – I do not have the free time nor energy to lose at the rate I used to. So 20 pounds in 5 months is my first goal. My ultimate goal is to reach the weight that is pretty healthy for me: 160 pounds.

I have a long road ahead. Losing 50 pounds is more weight than I’ve ever needed to lose before. I’m determined to do it, though. I think this time my resolve is set.

The first month of 2013 will bring exciting things. I turn 29 (WHAT THE EFF? How did my 20s go by so quickly?) on January 9th, my daughter turns 3 (again with the WTF) on January 20th. My brother and his fiancee are coming for a visit. I’m looking forward to what 2013 has to offer. 2012 went by in the blink of an eye; I know that sounds like a cliche, but that is exactly how it feels. It was January, I closed my eyes, and when I opened them my daughter was opening Christmas presents.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year celebration. I will be spending it with a quiet evening at home with my family. Here’s to a happy and healthy 2013.

John Cleese the Treadmill.

We have acquired a hand-me-down treadmill, which is both good and bad. I hate exercising. I’m not one of those people that’s all, “RUNNING FOREVER. I HEART JOGGING. I CAN THROW A FOOTBALL TO TEXAS! YESSSSSS!!!!” I work out because if I don’t, I get fat and I don’t like being fat. I also want to be hot for Blog Her ’12 which I’m bound and determined to attend. I hate exercising and I hate this fucking piece of exercise equipment. I like the way working out makes me feel but the actual act of working out, I dread. When it’s time to walk I eyeball it and think of various ways I could annihilate it. Lighting it on fire. Throwing it off a bridge. Ding-dong-ditching it on some poor unsuspecting fool’s doorstep (YOUR PROBLEM NOW ASSHOLES! AAAHH HA HA HA HAHA!)… But in the end, I don’t do any of those things because I’m afraid of fire and it’s too heavy for me to carry.

Evil, thy name is Treadmill.

We took the treadmill that Josh’s parents had in their basement. They weren’t using it anymore and it’s pretty much the temperature of Satan’s asshole outside 24/7 so we needed a way to exercise indoors. Jillian Michaels also comes from hell and I’m not paying money for her to torture and maim me (and I’m afraid to illegally download things because I’m not cut out for prison. I WATCH OZ, I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS THERE) so we got the treadmill. It’s sitting in our living room, mocking me. It’s functional, and runs, but that’s about it. I think sometimes I hear it wheezing when I’m walking on it but that could also be because I’m fat and it’s like “PLEASE NOOOO GET OFF MEEEE.”

I got on the treadmill the other night and took it slow-ish. I’m very out of shape so I didn’t want to hurt myself. About ten minutes into it, I got cocky and was all, “IM’A RUN. WATCH ME Y’ALL” and I cranked it up to a slow jog. Now, I wasn’t even good at jogging when I was skinny and in shape. I have the knees of the Cryptkeeper and they squeak and crack when I get up off the couch so I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I was jogging and feeling very sweaty and productive. I slowed the treadmill down back to my comfortable pace and my knees were all, “AHH. WHY DOES IT HATES US, PRECIOUS? IT BURNS. IT BURNSSSSSS.”
P.S. my knees are also Gollum.

I alternated jogging and briskly walking for thirty minutes until I’d had enough of the treadmill and I hobbled off. I felt good even though I was drenched in sweat. It’s so crazy to think that three years ago, I could take a one hour power aerobics class and still have breath to spare at the end but jogging/fast walking on a treadmill now makes me almost suffocate and die.

Even though I hate working out and the treadmill makes me all *side eye*, I decided it needs a name if we’re going to continue to be friends. I decided to name it John Cleese, because that’s what I see when I walk. We have a Monty Python poster on the wall directly in front of the treadmill. When I’m exercising, I’m staring at this the whole time:



Even though I dread using John Cleese, even though while I’m walking I’m actually thinking about tacos and cheese logs, I’m going to stick with it. I have no excuse. So begins Operation: Fit for BlogHer. Me & John Cleese are going to become well acquainted over the next 12 months even if he is an old, dusty son of a bitch.